Day #3 of #685


I know you’re not coming back..But promises and lies are so sweet to hear..:)…Do you really think you’re going to make it? I’m not so sure..This is time we’re talking about..And time is mean. Time changes everything..And who knows..maybe  me, or  you…I’m not sure if we’re gonna make it..If your plans are going to become true, as you wish. I wonder if we could be together one more time, but it’s not like..it’s a desire anymore.I’m just wondering..it’s like wishing the sky would be mine.

Anyway.. I knew from the moment you said you’d come back, that you wouldn’t. I mean, I don’t actually know how it’s going to be like..but I preffer to expect nothing..Better.You know..your plans sounded so real when you said it…and you put time in my hands. Time which I hated. Which I denied.

But then I repeated your words in my head .. and now, I realise that this is the exact time I would ask you to give me..Time to think…ANd even like this, I wonder if it isn’t too little. Anyways, I’ve already spent 3 days from 685, in which I took every aspect of the future! How would it be like. How would “that”, “that” and “that” be like.

And I’m afraid my love’s not so strong as I thought it is.

But..what if I make up my mind, and you’re not there? What if I make up my mind and I do it for nothing? ..I won’t mind..Cause I know t’s going to be so..:-).

Promise to write the rest of the days, just so when I look back at the past,  I laugh. or who knows..Maybe time will bring me here, or there, or anywhere with you, both of us reading it, or..Time will just set a different sorrow for me, and I will never read this again.

And here I am..all by my self..Listening to sassy song, songs which make you be nostalgic, and remember all the great memories..because that’s what you’ve also told me. “You love me because of the great memories”.But, is it really like that? I’m afraid I dont’ even know if I do.I’m so confused you know..When I listen all the problems all around me, You always appear in my mind, and you appear doing it differently, because comapring to other guys, you did it so different.  But I don’t know..I don’t know if you’re thinking right now, or any time about us or..”those great memories” you told me about, and that’s why, I avoid dreaming about it, or..even thinking about it.. My mind is blurry. I don’t know..what I feel anymore, what I should do..Cause if I choose you, I’ll have to give up some other things. And if I chose the other things, I’ll have to give up you..YOU!

So what should I do..? ANyway, I’m taking the time to think about it. I hurt you. I was the one ruining everything. but  don.’t know..What else could I have done?? I was always in the middle , and YOU two, didn’t give me any choice.

I wonder If I’ll ever stop thinking about it, you, us. ALmost everywhere I go, I remember something..it’s like I’m cursed or somthin’..Mean..that’s erally mean. I don’t even want to watch any love movies. I feel so..I don’t know if “unlucky” but..somehow..I wonder when it’s my time going to come..? By then, I will have already changed. I hope…:”>

Do you know where I’d like to go with you ? In that place, where all the lovers put a padlock in the name of their love, in Ponte Sant’ Angelo. ( I already started to laugh :)) ). Like really..will this happen??..Do I hear myself? :))..Jeez..Anyway..It would be nice. That’s the # 1 palce I’d go with you. :))

Sometimes I don’t even know what is that I want.. Sometimes I want you, other times I don’t… But most of the time..I wonder..what will it be like. And all I do is pray. Pray that everything is going to be fine in the end. But I know that if you pray without wishing for it, it doesn’t have any effect

P.S: No matter what, I wish nothing, but the best for you!

“Sin cera”.

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