Archive for February, 2012

Posted in Uncategorized on February 12, 2012 by D

Ok, so I have to admit..I skipped a day.. But you know what? I sorta’ changed my mind..Why would I write that much, and get nothing..Na-a-aah. I don’t know..:D. I’ll think about it. Even though, I’mnot gonna give up at all at writing..Writing about what I need to write.

But, meanwhile, I thought about my life. You know..i really want to figure out what I actually want. What I actually want to do with my life, with the ones that will be in my life, cause..I wanna make sure I’m going to have a nice future. I don’t want anyone in my life who doesn’t wanna be there. I don’t want anything that will hurt me or so…And for that, I need you to know, and tell me what you want from your life too..Because, as I don’t believe that your plans are going to happen..Well…I made some points anyway, that I’d like you to tell me, if you’re capato do or not.

I want a guy that plans to marry me and love me till we die. I want a guy that is serious, and who’s going to be a great father for my kids. I want THE guy, who knows how to treat a women, who doesn’t yell, or gets out of his mind just because he’s annoyed that I did something wrong. Like pulling the cable out when he’s watching football. I want a guy that even if I am wrong, to come and tell me that he loves me. I want a guy, that shows me his love every single day, no matter how, like giving me a flower, even when we don’t have money. When we don’t have money, and we see we are out of any solutions, in any circumstance, I want him to hug me and tell me everything’s gonna be ok. I want him to take me out for dinner, at a restaurant , and make the staff do things for me.Like putting a flower or something I like, in the food. WHen we don’t have money, I want him to take me out, in the city, take a flower from nowhere, or from the forbidden places, and then take me to a special unknown area in town. There, show me that there is life without all the fortunes and stuff. I want him to go out for me when it’s 3 o’clock in the morning, and buy me ice cream.

I want him to hold my hand when I feel I’m in danger, and whisper “everything’s gonna be ok”. I want him to protect me.On saturday mornings, I want him to pull the curtains, prepare me breakfast, and then watch me waking up, with a kiss on the forehead. I want the guy who is there for me no matter what. I want the guy who would do anything for me. I want the guy, who runs after me, when he upsets me. Who would be ready to embarass himself, or face anyone for my ass. I want the guy who calls me back after I hang up on him.I want the guy who does the bed for me, when I am in hurry. I want the guy who hugs, and kisses me while a romantic movie, who lets me sleep on his shoulders, and then carry me in his arms to the bedroom, and pull the blanket over me, who stays awake just to watch me sleep.

I want the guy that thinks I’m his princess. I want the guy that contradicts his mother, when she’s talking something bad about me.  want the guy that doesn’t look about other women, and if he does, it would be just to say ” SHe should take more care of her\  SHe’s got nothing on you”.

I want the guy that is not only my boyfriend or husband, but my friend, the buddy I can trust, my brrhter, my father, my lover..my everything.

I want the guy that thinks I’m his world. I want the guy that doesn’t say “I love you” just to say it, I want him to prove it. I want the guy that would do anything for me.

I want the guy twho, when I leave, he calls and say he misses me, then do something to prove it. I want proofs!! I want the guy who shows me how to dance, without laughing at me. I want the guy who holds my hands everytime.

I want that kinda’ guy…I want the guy that, even when love is gone, and time passed, to be there for me, because of the respect, friendship, and appreciation he’s got for me. Because I am a woman, and I took time to do all this, to carry some human beings in my belly, to give birth, to cook, to be a wife.. I want to share responsabilities. I want him to treat our son like a friend of his, do battles, play football, show him how to treat a woman.. And our girl… I want him to treat her like  a princess, and kiss her hands, and so on..Just to show our son how he should treat women.

As the woman has to be housewife in the kitchen, a lady in society, and a slut in bed, so I want HIM to be. We share. I want harmony and respect. I want my best story.

So, do you think you can handle this?? Do you think you cand make me your everything? Cause if you do, I promise I’ll cherish you all the time.

P.S : I WILL love you.:)

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Day #3 of #685

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10, 2012 by D

I know you’re not coming back..But promises and lies are so sweet to hear..:)…Do you really think you’re going to make it? I’m not so sure..This is time we’re talking about..And time is mean. Time changes everything..And who knows..maybe  me, or  you…I’m not sure if we’re gonna make it..If your plans are going to become true, as you wish. I wonder if we could be together one more time, but it’s not like..it’s a desire anymore.I’m just wondering..it’s like wishing the sky would be mine.

Anyway.. I knew from the moment you said you’d come back, that you wouldn’t. I mean, I don’t actually know how it’s going to be like..but I preffer to expect nothing..Better.You know..your plans sounded so real when you said it…and you put time in my hands. Time which I hated. Which I denied.

But then I repeated your words in my head .. and now, I realise that this is the exact time I would ask you to give me..Time to think…ANd even like this, I wonder if it isn’t too little. Anyways, I’ve already spent 3 days from 685, in which I took every aspect of the future! How would it be like. How would “that”, “that” and “that” be like.

And I’m afraid my love’s not so strong as I thought it is.

But..what if I make up my mind, and you’re not there? What if I make up my mind and I do it for nothing? ..I won’t mind..Cause I know t’s going to be so..:-).

Promise to write the rest of the days, just so when I look back at the past,  I laugh. or who knows..Maybe time will bring me here, or there, or anywhere with you, both of us reading it, or..Time will just set a different sorrow for me, and I will never read this again.

And here I am..all by my self..Listening to sassy song, songs which make you be nostalgic, and remember all the great memories..because that’s what you’ve also told me. “You love me because of the great memories”.But, is it really like that? I’m afraid I dont’ even know if I do.I’m so confused you know..When I listen all the problems all around me, You always appear in my mind, and you appear doing it differently, because comapring to other guys, you did it so different.  But I don’t know..I don’t know if you’re thinking right now, or any time about us or..”those great memories” you told me about, and that’s why, I avoid dreaming about it, or..even thinking about it.. My mind is blurry. I don’t know..what I feel anymore, what I should do..Cause if I choose you, I’ll have to give up some other things. And if I chose the other things, I’ll have to give up you..YOU!

So what should I do..? ANyway, I’m taking the time to think about it. I hurt you. I was the one ruining everything. but  don.’t know..What else could I have done?? I was always in the middle , and YOU two, didn’t give me any choice.

I wonder If I’ll ever stop thinking about it, you, us. ALmost everywhere I go, I remember something..it’s like I’m cursed or somthin’..Mean..that’s erally mean. I don’t even want to watch any love movies. I feel so..I don’t know if “unlucky” but..somehow..I wonder when it’s my time going to come..? By then, I will have already changed. I hope…:”>

Do you know where I’d like to go with you ? In that place, where all the lovers put a padlock in the name of their love, in Ponte Sant’ Angelo. ( I already started to laugh :)) ). Like really..will this happen??..Do I hear myself? :))..Jeez..Anyway..It would be nice. That’s the # 1 palce I’d go with you. :))

Sometimes I don’t even know what is that I want.. Sometimes I want you, other times I don’t… But most of the time..I wonder..what will it be like. And all I do is pray. Pray that everything is going to be fine in the end. But I know that if you pray without wishing for it, it doesn’t have any effect

P.S: No matter what, I wish nothing, but the best for you!

“Sin cera”.